Before I turn off my bedside light every night I read a few verses from the Psalms, from a bible my grandfather was given before he immigrated from the Netherlands.
The pages in the Psalms are worn and Scotch-taped, but their truths are still fresh.
Usually I'll read until a verse strikes me; and then I'll try to fall asleep memorizing it. Last night the verse was Psalm 13:6 - "I will sing unto the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me."
Repeating those words as I dozed off, I was thankful for all the good God has spoken into my life, and hopeful for my vocational future; that things would fall into place and enough books sell to enable self-sufficiency as an author, the Templeton grant submission would be favourably received, and that the publisher now looking at my new science book would say yes.
How bountiful would that be?
Waking at 5:30 am I found myself praying a different prayer. "Help me to know you more Lord... that's all I want and all I need... my greatest bounty." Then I made a confession, "I'm sorry for wanting all of those things before wanting You." Of course this confession was met with presence - a quieting grace that loved and held me. In that peace-filled moment I knew that God knows what we need in order to live.
God's nearness made this fact abundantly clear.
"I will bring him near and he will come close to me—
for who is he who will devote himself to be close to me?’"
Jeremiah 30:21, NIV